Wearing no bra with big boobs

My friend snapped this photo of me without me knowing and I love it, I'm in the river Dee in Wales for conscious camp, it's freezing but invigorating, I'm wearing no bra, this is a big deal for me, to be in public with no bra, I have large G cup boobs and they sag down, I don't want to wear a bra for health reasons (lymphatic system can't drain toxins properly when constricted) but having them swinging around goes against the norm. It's weird when you start thinking about how society has moulded us into believing certain things and when you go against the grain you are deemed the weird one ;)

 I also feel a bit weird and unattractive without a bra (conditioning I know) sometimes it feels freeing and I don't get back or shoulder ache or headaches either when I don't wear one, I wear scarves a lot to cover them but find most of my wardrobe now totally unsuitable for going bra less, the cuts of the dresses are made with pert boobs in mind. 

It's a quandary because I feel it's important for breast health not to wear one, with underwires digging in and your lymph system being squashed, it isn't healthy at all. There have been links to breast cancer and bra wearing plus I feel constricted when I've got one on. But I feel hot and heavy without one. 

At home I tend not to wear one at all, I got this stretchy bra with no wires/structure to it that I wear if I'm doing housework, exercising or if guests are coming over. 

I figured out if I buy loose fitting tops, and wear scarves you can't really tell I am not wearing one out the house and I am sarong mad, I use them to tie around my chest in various ways to let them swing free and keep cool.

Got any tips? share them in the comments 

Check out this video about ditching bras by Nikisha Brunson

I would like to know your thoughts on going bra-less (please keep it friendly)

Check out this unapologetic account from a mum about men drooling over freed nipples!

Artist studio tour 2

It's been a weird month August and I can't believe it's nearly at the end already, I have been having a hard time the past few weeks (damn that full moon) feeling totally exhausted, my immune system has taken a battering and I had mastitis and Hidradenitis suppurativa, I have been running on empty for a while but kept going to be supportive and I felt I needed to be strong for everyone else. 

I feel my hormones are all over the place and making me feel totally disconnected, snappy and tearful, I have been keeping in my emotions of feeling unlovable and slightly depressed to myself, but I shared them with Mr Delightful in a heart opening way, I allowed myself to feel vulnerable and explained everything, after his kindness and total support in finding ways to change my diet and take supplements to help me and after using some natural remedies, I could actually face up to these past few days and share with you. 

I didn't want this truth to break the 'always positive' delightful me, but I feel you deserve to know why I haven't done any art, posted on my blog or been attending anything.

I have some wonderful friends who are so caring and their messages have kept me going on the dark days, I have been reading, watching films, resting and restoring myself. 

So all I have to offer is some photos of my studio, this place brings me joy, I am so grateful for this space.

Little things here and there, that have been given or collected over time.

My easel really needs a good tidying up, it is full of unfinished projects.

Always got to be feeling the love no matter how dull things seem, if you have no one else to love, always love yourself, and I am sure there are plenty of people who love you, even if you don't think there are, I love you, each one of us is a miracle, I mean check out how amazing it is and the odds you are actually here, its something crazy like there is only 4 hours a month in which you can get pregnant, that's is if a sperm actually reaches the egg and the egg actually gets fertilised, I won't go on, this isn't a place for biology lessons, but I hope you get my point, before anything else, how amazing is it we are actually alive!

Old books, new books, god I love books, I love the smell of musty bookshops, crammed from floor to ceiling with so many possibilities and ideas in those pages.

Rose quartz for love and my studio angel

These little 50p storage pots from Ikea are great for keeping all my bits and pieces in one place. My tiaras are in there too for the days when I need an extra princess vibe.

The summer holidays are nearly over, Autumn is nearly here again, what are your plans and how have you been feeling with this crazy moon?

Love Dotty xx

It feels like somebody shit on my soul

Everything can be going fine and dandy and then it feels like somebody shits on your soul.
Through some unkind words said in person or on social media, through a text message or through a look they give.

 I have realised, when go on a life journey that is different from the norm, old friends fall away from you and this sometimes hurts, people can be cruel, people who you thought had your best interests at heart are annoyed by your success or you hit a nerve when you talk or share something that is different to the way they live, they automatically think you are having a go at them, even family members can act this way or people who you have never met but think they 'know' you from your online presence.


 When I spend my day drinking tea, walking the dogs, watching romance films and snoozing, I am not lazy, have no job or taking the piss, I am living my life in a way which brings me joy, what you don't see is that I have either been up since 5am or I have gone to bed at 2am doing my work early or very late, because I can. You don't see that when you finish your job at 5pm and go home, that I am still doing admin, still organising, still creating until late. Don't blame me because you have chosen a job which you either don't like or it takes up so much of your time, so you don't have time for anything else. Don't compare my life to the one which you think I should live or the one made up in your head about how I live.



For example home education, when I talk about home ed and how great it is for kids and how the school system is shit, I am not saying you are a bad parent for sending your kids to school, I'm not saying your children are suffering going to school each day. I am talking about the experience we have had as a family, my opinions on the school system and its short fall.

When I talk about how I use certain toothpaste or shampoo that has no toxins in it or cancer causing substances, I am not saying you are a terrible person for using colgate or head and shoulders (or whatever brand you choose, they are the first ones that spring to mind), I am sharing the way we live, I am hoping to educate in a non judgmental way, in the hope that some people will discover more about it for themselves and make an informed decision.


When I share positive messages, memes or my art, don't think I am annoying (well you can if you want but actually think about why it is annoying you and you may get some solutions) because I am always happy, you don't see me on days where I feel like shit because I feel fat or my hormones are out of whack and I spend the day crying.


Also stop thinking I have it easy, I'm lucky or my head is in the clouds because I'm either a loon, fake or rich. Actually I will let you know it's because I have had a pretty awful time when I was a younger, my dad left my mum and she struggled for years to look after me and my sister because of poverty and depression, when I finally was reunited with my dad he wasn't really all I imagined him to be because he was screwed up from his mum (my grandma) killing herself and he found her in the bath. I was a young mum pregnant at 17, I suffered domestic violence for 8 years, was a single parent to 3 boys for another 8 years, had problems with alcohol and drugs (coping mechanism to block out my shitty existence), was so poor I burned furniture in the fire because I couldn't afford coal and the stories could go on and on but I don't want to bore you, anyway thats why I am positive and happy and yes, my head is in the clouds because I choose for it to be there, because I found a different way of living, rather than just existing.


I found that if I read books, watched inspiring videos, surrounded myself with 'awakened' people, ate better and made better choices, I felt better, this had a ripple effect and now each day I choose happiness over sorrow, I choose to feel rich because I have a loving family, my creative gifts, time to do and be who I want not because of how much money I have (or haven't) in my bank.

I have been talking to quite a few friends lately about this and they are all feeling the same way, it seems when you are on the right path and you have discovered the things you love to do, your light is shining so bright, people are either inspired by you and you get lovely messages, awesome and kind words which make your day or they despise you, they feel you are rubbing their noses in it or are untrue, they make up lies to themselves about how horrid you are to blame you for making them feel bad.


What a shame that it is this way, what a shame that everyone can't see the good through clear eyes, what a shame that everyone can't have therapy to sort out their pasts, what a shame everyone can't find true happiness and feel glad everyday just to be alive.



What is really messed up is, these same people who feel judged by you and your life are the ones who do the judging, telling you what you should do.

"get a real job" -  one working for the man I guess

"wear normal clothes" - I'm not even going to comment on this

"get a mortgage/go to uni/buy a car" - all the things to keep you trapped  and in the system

"your kids will suffer from keeping them at home" - of course being safe and happy is bad

"you will learn" - learn what exactly? how to be miserable?



I feel that artists, creatives, musicians, alternative lifestyles to the norm are all deemed as unworthy and to be pitied, unless you start making it big and then it flips and you are arrogant, lucky, self centered, fake.

So to sum it all up, you can't actually 'win' either way. Friends come, friends go, family is kind, family sucks, your only purpose in this life is to be happy, to give love, to receive love and hopefully make a difference in some way by helping others and this in turn lets you help yourself.

Love Dotty xx

15 things you didn't know about me!

Ok lovely likers, I see I have been blessed with lots of new likers lately and thought it would be nice to open up a bit and give you some insider info on me and my life ;)

Feel free to ask me anything, I love a good question.

1. I have 6 chickens and 2 rescue dogs called Stanley and Badger

2. My nickname is Runty Pipkonian plus loads of other variations by Mr Delightful.

3. My favourite food is sausage (now veggie ones), mash and gravy.

4.I love the smell of nutmeg and could easily grate a whole one onto my food but then I would probably hallucinate and slip into a coma and maybe die, so I restrain myself. I could sniff out a nutmeg at 100 paces for sure.

5. I like watching romance films and am currently obsessed by a spanish subtitled series about romance, fashion and running a high end fashion shop called Velvet. I love it because my mind is constantly thinking of a million things and because of the subtitles I have to concentrate on it and nothing else (apart from eating Green & Black's chocolate)

6. I like smelling things, I think I was a dog in a past life, I love the smell of musty books, petrol, hot tar, my belly hole even though it smells of cheese, Mr Delightfuls armpits when they are musky, new carpet, dogs paws that smell of biscuits, a spot behind Stanleys ear that smells of a teddy bear I had when I was 7, it smelled a bit musty so I put strawberry shortcake talcum powder on it, behind my mums sofa and rubbed it in, then I used to sleep with it in my bed and dribble on it, behind his ear smells just like that and transports me back in time.

7. I have to wear shoes and a bra to feel motivated enough to do housework.

8. My dad left my mum when I was 7 and I met him again when I was 16, I didn't particularly like him very much at first, he was loud and brash and always after supermarket checkout girls, but he did give me an insight into where I got my sense of humour from and open my eyes to try new things, I hadn't eaten any 'foreign' food until I met him, I tried my first tikka masala, lasagne, korma and bolognaise with him.

9. Both my parents are dead, even though I sometimes miss them, I also feel free of the guilt of not visiting them often or having to be a certain way as to not upset them, I am a grown up orphan but I feel total freedom too.

10. I have been to college to do art, fashion design, textiles, criminology, psychology and aromatherapy massage.

11. I wanted to be a clown when I was a child, then as a teen, a fashion designer, then in my 20's a forensic scientist, now I am 40 I am finally an artist (something I have wanted deep down since I was 12 and drew a pair of hands holding a bamboo bag handle).

12. I was a teenage mum, in a domestic abusive relationship for 8 years and a single mum to 3 boys aged under 5 by the time I was 23. It was hard. I didn't sleep through the night for about 12 years. Sleep deprivation sucks! I had post-natal depression too.

13.I like being in forests, by rivers, planting seeds, touching mud, feeling the light rain on my face on a hot day, singing loudly, praticing keyboard, reading books, sleeping, snow, log fires, flowers, adventures, listening to the birds, looking at people and pretending they are animals and figuring out what animal they would be.

14. I would love to work in a bookshop that sold magazines so I could read them all every month (well not all of them, things that are crappy like Heat magazine, I have no time for but ones like Flow, The Simple Things, Country Living etc)

15. I can't stand things that are spelled differently just to be cool, like for example Kris' Kuts (a hairdresser) or happinezz (even though I love this magazine the name irritates me).

I think I will write more like this on my blog, I kind of like this outpouring of me and who I am, I think sometimes when you look at someones photos and read statuses on social media you only get a small part of the picture, I know I sometimes feel, other folks are doing so much better than I am, or they have travelled more, or their lives are amazing, but in reality we all have shit to deal with, we all have weird ways and a past, honesty might shatter the illusion, but I want the illusion shattered because when you can connect through your stories and feelings, that connection with others is priceless. You don't feel like such a failure or boring or a crap mum, you feel like someone else is going through the same stuff so I am not that bad or I'm doing OK. I don't want to censor anything anymore and if I lose friends or likes along the way, that's not for me to worry about, the right people will be connected to me and I can feel free.

Ways to embrace your feelings

This is what turning 40 looks like, 

tired but so happy to know I have grown and changed so much over the past decade, I embrace everyday knowing that as each night turns to daylight my soul will be inspired, my heart will be filled with joy, my eyes will see the beauty around me and my ears will be filled with laughter. 

To keep the balance, some days will be filled with tears, with an empty longing for adventure and closeness to my grown up children, to realise and feel my heart brake a little at the pain in the works and the needless suffering or when hormones kick in and I feel fat, unhappy and dowdy, I wish for a time machine so I can go back and hug my mum for one last time and tell her of all the wonderful things I have experienced, but I know can process those feelings, thoughts and emotions on a scale where I don't have to turn to drink or drugs etc to block out the pain or feelings. 

I feel like sharing some advice, it's ok to be sad, it's ok to feel, it's ok to cry, it's ok to be happy, it's ok to love yourself, you have permission to release the free spirit that's trapped inside you and step up to who you truly are. Switch off the news, switch off the soap operas, stop reading the papers and 'women's magazines, these vibrate at a lower frequency and fill your head with things that are fear based and not real. Go to the library or book store and go the the self help or new age section and choose a book that resonates with you, pick it and rad, your mind will be opened to something new, something better. Watch the celestine prophecy, listen to meditations by Louise Hay or Marc Allen on YouTube, get into nature everyday if possible, smile, and remember if you think nobody loves you, I love you!

 I believe in you
Love Dotty xx

Beneath every strong, independent woman ...truth

 

This... this is so true, 

just because I now choose to be positive and happy doesn't mean I have always been this way, 

I have learned, I have grown, awful things have happened in my life, I have suffered tragedy, had severe depression, had an eating disorder, been abused through domestic violence, felt abandoned when my dad left when I was 7, am now an adult orphan with no parents, been a single mum to 3 boys for 8 years, 

things I do not wish to disclose to anyone but you know what, I don't feel bad, 

I don't want revenge, I am not a victim, I am not 'in recovery', I am recovered and everything that has happened to me, has made me the person I am today and for that I am thankful, 

 everything that has happened, happened for a reason, it made me strong, it made me realise that I can choose to dwell on the past and feel like a dark cloud is over me or I can choose to be thankful, 

I choose to see the good, I choose to feel positive and shine my light. Everyone has a past, everyone has a story, no one knows what that is unless they are told. 

Don't automatically judge a person on how they are now, it's often taken a long and winding road to get to where they are today.

 Love Dotty xx

Do you feel good about yourself naked?

I am a big follower of all things positive and try to see the best in situations, always a glass half full kinda girl, you know, I appreciate the sun, the birds singing, the crisp sheets on a freshly made bed, I am thankful for my wonderful life but the thing that doesn’t come quite so easy is when I am naked, looking at myself in the mirror.

 

Forgive yourself

There is a lot of forgiveness I need to do, a lot of inner soul work, its hard, its painful but I know it needs to be done. We have changed our foods, our toiletries, we live as eco as we can, we work on lots of other aspects of our lives and now its time to work on ourselves.

Thin, fat, tall, short, any shape or size we all have hang ups, I have been reading a Louise Hay book You can heal your life, so far its a great read and has made me question so many things, it has made me realise the hang ups I have stem back to learned ideas that control me without me even realising.
So this made me go back and think about why I feel the need to cover my tummy that is flabby and full of stretch marks, should I not embrace those marks and think how amazing it is my body has grown 3 healthy boys?

Yes really I should, I need to change my thoughts, this can’t just happen though can it? by changing the negatives to positives, is it really that easy?
We according to Louise Hay who’s strategies and ideas have worked for millions of people says that it is ” Believe it or not, we choose our thoughts".

We may habitually think the same thought over and over so it does not seem we are choosing the thought. But we did make the original choice. We can refuse to think certain thoughts. Look how often you have refused to think a positive thought about yourself. Well you can also refuse to think a negative thought about yourself.”

Baby steps.

This makes sense to me, I think baby steps are needed with truly loving yourself,
Years ago I really didn’t have much self-esteem after a violent and mentally abusive relationship, I believed I was pretty rotten and fat, that no one would ever love me. It took a lot of time and kindness to myself, plus the advances of several men to make me feel better, I did this slowly, every time I passed a mirror I would smile at myself, then eventually when I was comfortable with that and it came easy to me, I would then add a compliment in my head to go with the smile like ” you are beautiful”. I sort of tricked myself at first into believing it and then my confidence grew. I had a 2 year period of being single and in this time solely focussed on myself, I painted, I sang, I read books, played music, lit candles, I did all the things I would do if I had a date coming round but I did them for me. I dated myself.

True love

I loved myself, then I met the man of my dreams, my soul mate, my love. I think we couldn’t have met any earlier because that work on myself needed doing. It is ongoing, I still love myself in many ways but as I have put weight on these past few years, I think from feeling content and secure in my relationship and enjoying food so much I have a negativity about my body again. I am working on losing the extra weight gradually, through better choices and doing more so I can feel happy fully with myself again when looking at my naked body in the mirror.

Love Dotty xx

Supercharge your income as an artist

Hey gorgeous souls! I want to share some on my art I have been making lately, and share how on earth I am actually selling stuff!

 if you want to keep up to date on a daily basis pop over to Facebook as I am on there a lot ;)

So I have been such a busy bee lately since I have gone ahead and become a full time artist, its amazing, I get to wear my fluffy My Little Pony pjs, eat Green and Blacks chocolate, watch films like Cinderella and paint and draw, plus get paid! I think this is THE happiest I have ever been in my whole life.

I feel truly blessed and thankful for this kind of abundance and life I am living.

How am I doing it?

You know, there are a couple of key things that have really resonated with me and I think they have been the key to me believing in myself, being able to have the knowledge and guts to go ahead and start living my dream. One is this amazing book  The magical Path by Marc Allen and his amazing meditation:

Watch his video

The other is the amazing Leonie Dawson she is an inspiration, I have joined her academy to do the business goddess workshop and it has been invaluable, the support from the groups and women you connect with is amazing. I love that it is not stuffy business and that its filled with rainbows, unicorns, love and really useful information that you can implement as a creative person.

In the academy there is a magic money making kit where you predict the total you would like to make that month (there is a brilliant workshop that goes alongside it to help you learn) I was a bit nervous about saying, too big a figure, its got to be believable for me and even though I have had mini successes in the past earning money, it's never been constant or I never thought it would be, anyway I put £500 for the month, to someone on a full time wage this probably doesn't seem that big, but you need to remember this is coming from an artist (in fact its even weird for me to call myself that, do I have permission?) but to me thats a great amount, so imagine my delight when I totalled up the amount of sales I have had for the month so far (5 days in) and it came to over half the total for the month!!
Like holy shit I am actually doing it!

I can only imagine it growing too, I have only been a member for just over a month and I feel like my life is transforming before my eyes. Its magical.

Hard work?

I do keep thinking someone is going to come and say "you can't do this, work is hard and you are having fun!"

We are conditioned at an early age with sayings that work is hard, such as:
“Nothing worth having comes easy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
"Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work."Booker T. Washington
 Hard work brings prosperity; playing around brings poverty.     -- Bible
Or a favourite is well meaning parents saying you have to do a job you hate because you have to pay the bills. 

Yes the bills need paying, yes you need money to live but don't forgo your happiness for this, find a way that works for you and your family, do something you love and you will never work a day in your life


 Contrary to popular belief with some friends, I don't loll around in pjs all day ( I do get dressed occasionally to go out haha) I don't spend my days faffing about, eating chocolate, watching films whoops! ;) in all seriousness, I have a whale of a time but I don't keep conventional hours, I don't finish working at 5pm, sometimes if I have a commission I am up till 2.30am, the housework gets rejected until its a must, I have to literally prize myself away from the computer sometimes to go to bed, the painting canvasses is a tiny part of running your own business, especially if you are a one woman show, theres all the marketing, admin, accounts etc but I wouldn't change a thing, to some it seem like 'hard'work but to me I am loving it. You can love your life and job too.

Like my work?

If you like my art and want to help me feed my chickens, children, rescue dogs and my chocolate habit you can pop over to my Etsy page or come stalk me on Facebook, get in touch if you want a commission piece painting, I love, love doing them so much!.

Love Dotty xx

Sometimes when things are falling apart

Darling it's OK to have a wobble, to feel not quite right, its OK to grieve, to cry, to feel sad when things are not going the way you would like. One day you will look back and realise it was all part of the plan, you are exactly where you are meant to be right now, no matter what you are going through, we have your back, we love and support you.

Take it one day at a time, just breathe deeply and know you are safe. 

Love Dotty xx

Becoming a goddess

I went to an amazing dance, drum and meditation workshop last night at Chakra studios in Penwortham and I woke up this morning realising the goddess inside is slowly blossoming and I am letting her out into the world without shame or embarrassment. The fine balance of my inner child, goddess and woman is pulling and pushing, I am learning to align myself so each and every wonderful part of me blooms.

Sometimes I feel like I am watching from the outside, peering in and this weird creature trying to find herself in a sea of devastation, trying to access all this amazing energy that shines from lightworkers, I realise that the words I use have changed, that the universe has opened it portal for me to enter and this is weird to people, this is like I am wearing a costume in a play written by someone else.

But I feel so myself now, I feel like this is the true me that has come out and wants to encourage other women to do the same. be brave, be fearless (I still wobble when I get the look or the comments from the level 1s) I am not wholly confident (even though you guys looking in would think I am).

I wonder about going back, can you go back once your eyes have been opened, can you undo all the knowledge?  I really don't think you can, I think that you have come so far and you can only go forward.

Women have so many identities, so many strings in the bow to keep going, carers, mothers, friends, sisters, nurses, cooks etc we have to be all of that plus so much more.

Helpful links for you

Some things that are helping me massively right now are:

Leonies Business Goddess eCourse

Lynn Avis angel Goddess

My beautiful yoga teacher

Circle of stars life letter

and many beautiful gorgeous goddesses that are doing amazing things in the world, thank you all for just being <3 br="">

Losing friends and don't know why?

I always say friends are like flowers, some are annual, so only around for a short time, some are bi-annual so they remain in the background, popping up now and then and then there are perrenial friends, who are there for you always, as we change and grow on our journey some friends, even perrenials wont 'get you', they just won't understand why you have changed. They may feel hurt because they are stuck (but don't know it) and feel the distance between you growing bigger.
  

It is not your job to 'fix' them, it is up to them to accept you and your changes and also to work on themselves why they feel this way (sometimes this won't happen of course and you end up parting ways). Once you become awakened or conscious, you can't go back. 
 I have had friends, ones that I have known for 12+ years say hurtful things, like 'why are you wearing THAT!? you're not in costume you know' or when I was being picked up by a friend for a day out 'You're not coming out like that with me, go back in and put normal clothes on'. These 'friends' thought it was ok to speak to me in that way because 12 years ago I wore jeans and a T-shirt and they are still stuck in that time.

I also love the eye rolling, when you talk about something like how your job is now being an artist. They patronise you with comments and sometimes even offers of money 'if you are struggling' (even though I haven't mentioned anything about money, just my passion for making beautiful art).

Understanding levels

We have to understand though, that we have come a long way and grown on our paths in life and some people are still at a crossroads or stuck in a dead end. 

My yoga teacher summed it up really well, she said we are all on levels, level 5 being the highest spiritually awakend, level 1 is your average un-concious, robot like person (when I say robot I mean stuck in the 9-5, watching tv, listening to the news) when dealing with people if you class them as a level in your head, it makes it easier to understand where they are coming from and to have empathy for the words they speak or there actions. 

I have been doing Leonie Dawson's business goddess Ecourse (which is amazing by the way) which says you are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with, so choose carefully!

So going back to my yoga teachers level idea, you need to discover which level you are and then surround yourself with your level or higher to enable you to grow. 

As you proceed, on your journey, it's sad to say farewell to old friends but it is also important for you to realise this is not your fault, you haven't done anything wrong, you are not a bad friend, life changes, people change and some remain exactly the same (I am sure you all know someone who is living the exact same lifestyle now, that they did in there early 20's. We are meant to evolve, we are meant to learn, we are meant to change. So do it safe in the knowledge that you will make new friends who resonate with your soul.

Like a butterfly emerging....

Do you remember the post I wrote about following my dreams? well if you are a regular reader you may of noticed a makeover on the blog, I have spent the past couple of days re-branding to fit in with me and my journey, when I started blogging 5 years ago I was a very different person to who I am now, the old image doesn't fit anymore, it served its purpose for who I was then but now I am emerging like a butterfly into my own being.

I did a makeover on my website and Etsy page plus my Facebook pages too, phew I have been busy!

I am trusting in the universe that my dream can come true, I have signed up to Leonie's Academy to guide me on my way and I have even cleaned my home from top to bottom to give me the boost I need to get creating in a more organised way. I feel I have grown up and realised who I am and what I'm meant to be doing this past year. And I love it!!!

I wanted to share these cards I finished last night, I am in love with the rainbow colours on these.

You know change is a good thing but sometimes it's hard when you have to leave others behind, I am sorry to any readers who feel they don't resonate with me now, who may think I'm to woo woo for them or who are thinking, "where has this come from". It's been a process and I have been scared almost, of changing my online presence in case I upset any of you, but I was only upsetting myself by not being who I really am meant to be at this moment. This hasn't suddenly happened, I have been keeping my inner thoughts to myself and now it's time to speak my truth, so if you don't like me or the things I am discussing then I am sure there are other wonderful blogs/social media sites who will fill up your heart with love, go find them and have a wonderful time.

Love Dotty x

Goodbye dear friend

 Yesterday we said goodbye to a wonderful light worker who couldn't live with how cruel and messed up our world is.

Calum was only in his 20's, but he already made an impact on all of us he met, he battled on through the despair and depravity that is Blackpool trying to spread happiness and warmth wherever he went. He is now on another plain, maybe flying high with the stars, maybe in another realm which only few know exist. What we can be certain of is he is finally free of the struggle the awakened ones deal with on a daily basis. It's made me realise though how separate we all are, how we support each other from afar, some of us try to get things going so we can feel part of something and feel at ease in like minded people's company, we need to physically connect more with each other to make sure everyone is supported and loved, to keep our spirits boosted and to out way the destruction and depravity we witness and do our best to block out.

 I know a lot of the time I choose to live in a bubble of love and I see the wonder and amazing world in which we live, sometimes I do get sad, I have experienced depression many years ago and have had family members with mental issues so I know it's pretty hard sometimes to be in a bubble alone. Lets expand our bubbles to connect with each other in the real world to save others from leaving us like Calum.

I first met Calum when he came running up to me in the street, he said "are you Dotty Delightful?" I was taken aback, it seemed a bit weird to be recognised, He said " I follow you online" then proceeded to give me a massive hug, he was a bit confused why I was in Blackpool town centre, he asked what I was doing because he thought I lived in the countryside ( I think because of my chicken photos and the garden etc) when I looked at his lovely face I didn't want to disappoint him so I lied and said yes I do live in the countryside. Since that encounter on the street we chatted loads of times and hung out and he used to come into my shop with his rucksack full of things to make people happy, once he pulled out a kazoo, he had water pistols and all sorts in there. 

If everyone got in touch with their inner child the world would be a happier place to be, if we all expressed unabashedly our feelings for each other, our planet would be more joyful, we need to live in a state of love and helping others.

Goodbye my dear friend, your memory will live on forever xx

If you are suffering from depression or need to talk to someone there is
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