Monday, 25 July 2016

It feels like somebody shit on my soul

Everything can be going fine and dandy and then it feels like somebody shits on your soul.
Through some unkind words said in person or on social media, through a text message or through a look they give.

 I have realised, when go on a life journey that is different from the norm, old friends fall away from you and this sometimes hurts, people can be cruel, people who you thought had your best interests at heart are annoyed by your success or you hit a nerve when you talk or share something that is different to the way they live, they automatically think you are having a go at them, even family members can act this way or people who you have never met but think they 'know' you from your online presence.

 When I spend my day drinking tea, walking the dogs, watching romance films and snoozing, I am not lazy, have no job or taking the piss, I am living my life in a way which brings me joy, what you don't see is that I have either been up since 5am or I have gone to bed at 2am doing my work early or very late, because I can. You don't see that when you finish your job at 5pm and go home, that I am still doing admin, still organising, still creating until late. Don't blame me because you have chosen a job which you either don't like or it takes up so much of your time, so you don't have time for anything else. Don't compare my life to the one which you think I should live or the one made up in your head about how I live.

For example home education, when I talk about home ed and how great it is for kids and how the school system is shit, I am not saying you are a bad parent for sending your kids to school, I'm not saying your children are suffering going to school each day. I am talking about the experience we have had as a family, my opinions on the school system and its short fall.

When I talk about how I use certain toothpaste or shampoo that has no toxins in it or cancer causing substances, I am not saying you are a terrible person for using colgate or head and shoulders (or whatever brand you choose, they are the first ones that spring to mind), I am sharing the way we live, I am hoping to educate in a non judgmental way, in the hope that some people will discover more about it for themselves and make an informed decision.

When I share positive messages, memes or my art, don't think I am annoying (well you can if you want but actually think about why it is annoying you and you may get some solutions) because I am always happy, you don't see me on days where I feel like shit because I feel fat or my hormones are out of whack and I spend the day crying.

Also stop thinking I have it easy, I'm lucky or my head is in the clouds because I'm either a loon, fake or rich. Actually I will let you know it's because I have had a pretty awful time when I was a younger, my dad left my mum and she struggled for years to look after me and my sister because of poverty and depression, when I finally was reunited with my dad he wasn't really all I imagined him to be because he was screwed up from his mum (my grandma) killing herself and he found her in the bath. I was a young mum pregnant at 17, I suffered domestic violence for 8 years, was a single parent to 3 boys for another 8 years, had problems with alcohol and drugs (coping mechanism to block out my shitty existence), was so poor I burned furniture in the fire because I couldn't afford coal and the stories could go on and on but I don't want to bore you, anyway thats why I am positive and happy and yes, my head is in the clouds because I choose for it to be there, because I found a different way of living, rather than just existing.

I found that if I read books, watched inspiring videos, surrounded myself with 'awakened' people, ate better and made better choices, I felt better, this had a ripple effect and now each day I choose happiness over sorrow, I choose to feel rich because I have a loving family, my creative gifts, time to do and be who I want not because of how much money I have (or haven't) in my bank.

I have been talking to quite a few friends lately about this and they are all feeling the same way, it seems when you are on the right path and you have discovered the things you love to do, your light is shining so bright, people are either inspired by you and you get lovely messages, awesome and kind words which make your day or they despise you, they feel you are rubbing their noses in it or are untrue, they make up lies to themselves about how horrid you are to blame you for making them feel bad.

What a shame that it is this way, what a shame that everyone can't see the good through clear eyes, what a shame that everyone can't have therapy to sort out their pasts, what a shame everyone can't find true happiness and feel glad everyday just to be alive.

What is really messed up is, these same people who feel judged by you and your life are the ones who do the judging, telling you what you should do.

"get a real job" -  one working for the man I guess

"wear normal clothes" - I'm not even going to comment on this

"get a mortgage/go to uni/buy a car" - all the things to keep you trapped  and in the system

"your kids will suffer from keeping them at home" - of course being safe and happy is bad

"you will learn" - learn what exactly? how to be miserable?

I feel that artists, creatives, musicians, alternative lifestyles to the norm are all deemed as unworthy and to be pitied, unless you start making it big and then it flips and you are arrogant, lucky, self centered, fake.

So to sum it all up, you can't actually 'win' either way. Friends come, friends go, family is kind, family sucks, your only purpose in this life is to be happy, to give love, to receive love and hopefully make a difference in some way by helping others and this in turn lets you help yourself.

Love Dotty xx

Scrapbooking tutorials and positvity art video

I made a video today with some of my rainbow positivity art and handmade makes on it, 
what do you think?

It's a pretty cool site called stupeflix where you can choose themes, add music (they have a library to choose from) or you can add your own, you can then add your photos, then you can publish directly to Youtube. 

Make sure you change the settings on the video to high def before watching. 

I have spent most of the day, after walking the dogs on the beach, researching about different paint techniques and found some really interesting blogs with different tutorials on them.

Birgit Kerr has some great scrapbooking techniques, I loved this one where she teaches you how to transfer print onto your canvas with mod podge. 

The daily marker has done an easy tutorial on using distressed ink too, something I want to have a go with but haven't got round to yet.

I am looking forward to making more Alice inspired canvasses, all 3 of these sold at the fair I did on Saturday.

I really enjoy getting my fingers full of glue, glitter and paint and creating something which develops and grows with each thing I add to the canvas.

I have had an idea to do a big rectangle one with her falling down the rabbit hole. I have collected some patterns and images from an old copy of Daphnes diary, have you seen it yet? its such a wonderful magazine.

Love Dotty xx

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Grand central, alternative shopping Liverpool

I took the middle son to Liverpool the other day to have his passport interview, apparently everyone who applies for their first passport has to go, they asked him some simple questions and everyone who worked there was really nice. He was relived when it was over though, a bit nerve wracking for a quiet 18 year old. 

We went to eat in a veggie/vegan cafe called Egg, it has a boho vibe and a good menu with a big selection of hot dinners, snacks and cake. 
I opted for dragon pie and salad, there was loads and I couldn't finish it all. It was pretty nice, but I have tasted better to be honest. 
Round the corner was a really gorgeous building, plants grew from the rooftops and it had all sorts of art nouveau features. It is called Grand central and is an alternative shopping centre. 

The ceilings are amazing, everywhere you look are gorgeous features, amazing clothes, quirky shops and loads of colour. 

I was in boho heaven!
There are vintage, punk, goth, hippy shops and other shops in the basement ( I didn't go down to see as we had to stick to a time schedule. It's somewhere I will definitely go back to, to have a proper look round. 

Love Dotty xx

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

We're all mad here -all the best people are!

This is what is going on in my studio today, making Alice inspired canvases and cards ready for the stall I'm sharing with JuJu Kuchoo at Miller Park this Saturday. 

"Be ready for a day of love, fun, tea and music. This 1 day festival is gearing up to be a action packed and glorious day. From Theatre, Music, Circus and Fitness, a whole range of fantastic events will be bringing in the sunshine and all the party atmosphere!

We have Live Music, Circus, Stalls and more!

Thing's to do, watch & hear!

Cirque Du Alice, the Contemporary Magical Urban Circus.
Catch our breath taking circus performances throughout the day, every hour. Bringing in the arts of Aerial, Acrobatics, Acro-Balancing and Fire! These shows will leave you breathless!"
 If you want to come tickets are available on the gate (donation), bring a blanket and a picnic.

It's boiling today, the sun is coming through the big window so going to have a lunch break and eat some coconut ice, then I'm going to make skirts and dresses this afternoon for the fair.

 It was 32 degrees here yesterday, really unusual for Blackpool. I don't cope well in the heat and just want to be fanned!

Hope you are having a wonderful day

Love Dotty xx

Friday, 15 July 2016

Studio tour - dreams do come true

I am so happy that I actually cried today, I was overcome with gratitude because one of the dreams I have had for years came true, you know we moved to a new home in January and I was blessed with a room to be my studio, well Mr Delightful has been sharing the space as he is self employed too, until his office was redecorated, rewired etc, the past week he has worked hard getting it all ready and yesterday he moved out of my space into his own. He helped me moving furniture, building an ikea unit my friend donated, hanging rails etc and then today I got to do my favourite bit, sorting everything out and making it look pretty.

Welcome to my delightful studio:
click the photos to make them bigger.

I have always wanted a craft room for years, read all about it, and knew I wanted it in different zones because as well as being an artist I love to sew, make clothes and all sorts of handmade things from fabric and wool.

I have 3 'zones', an art area as you walk in the room, this has a big architect easel I have had for years, I actually found it in the back garden of an upstairs flat I lived in about 16 years ago. I watched for a week to see if anyone claimed it, but no one came so I dragged it up a flight of stairs in 2 pieces, it is really heavy and I don't know how I did it, sheer determination I guess!
I have all my art, scrapbooking, drawing, stamping stuff in this area.

I have a sewing 'zone', this part I am most happy and grateful for, because I don't have to put anything away now tbefore I use the table, I actually have a cutting table, and anyone who sews knows this is like pure gold.
The little white tubs on the wall are from Ikea, only 50p each too so really affordable and very handy.

I have 2 tables in an L shape for sewing on, a fantastic huge window which the sun shines through on a bright day, but it's been pouring down here all day. I am going to whizz up some curtains tomorrow with this gorgeous Rosali fabric and give the windows a good clean (if it's sunny)

I also have a computer 'zone', this is a brilliant piece of furniture because when you are not using it, it folds up so your computer is out of the way and your computer chair tidies away underneath. 
I want to give that lampshade a makeover soon too, I like the shape, but the fabric is a bit daggy.
I adore the wallpaper, and know I am boring you with it before, but it's so cheery and always makes me smile, the blue tits remind me of my mums garden.

Honestly, I don't know how to convey to you just how happy and grateful I am, I feel like it's almost a dream. For so long I used the dining table to work at, in a cramped and damp living/dining/storage room, I dreamed of one day being like the women on pinterest or on other blogs who I thought were so lucky to have such lovely places, I kept putting it out there to the universe, what I really desired and needed to get me to the next level in life.

I have done many things over the years, had shops, ran events, had wild ideas ( I still have them daily) but nothing has fitted just right, this though, this is the place at the moment I feel right in, this is where I feel I can let my creativity soar, and for that I feel like all my christmases, all the jewels in the world have come all at once.

Keep dreaming, keep believing, know in your heart that dreams do come true, I didn't know how I would end up with this beautiful studio, there have been weeks where I didn't eat so I could feed my boys (pre Mr Delightful), times where I burnt furniture on the coal fire because I couldn't afford fuel and I didn't want the boys to be cold, desperate times, times of despair, times where running away became an option, but I clung onto the hope that one day life would be how I dreamed, life would be so wonderful. That day is today. 
Tomorrow is our 10th anniversary and that is another law of attraction story with an amazing 10 years behind us, that I will tell tomorrow (or maybe the day after depending on if I get chance with all the kissing going on ;) 

I am so blessed with amazing people in my life who often donate fabric, buttons, wool, furniture ect to me to help me along the way. 

I may not be rich in money (yet) but I am rich in happiness, an amazing studio and home and love.

I wish for your dreams to come true.

Love Dotty xx

Monday, 4 July 2016

BBC good food show and gardeners world 2016 trip

We were blessed with tickets to go a see this years BBC Good Food show summer and Gardeners World at the NEC in Birmingham, after getting National Express and a train ( saves £10 doing it that way) and a really long walk through the NEC we came to the halls the shows are held in, a massive space with over 500 producers and brands, some stage areas, demonstrations and show gardens.

This Capability Brown enchanted tea party by Wyevale garden centres garden was my favourite, with its romantic roses and vintage tea setting.

I didn't realise until I got home and read the brochure that you could go onto this barge and it had flowers inside too, drat I missed it!

There was a large marquee full of gorgeous plants to buy and displays of products, some I have never seen before and if I had a few thousand could go wild!

Lots of mock gardens inside and out, I had a couple that I loved and some not so much but I was impressed with how everything looked so healthy and not floppy at all, like the flowers and plants had always been growing there.

How beautiful is this garland, I would love something like this for my wedding (no I'm not getting married, just fantasy wedding for now) designer Alexandra Froggatt did a wonderful job.

I am pretty impressed with my photography skills on this next shot, Mr Delightful loves bonsai maybe from his Karate kid addiction in the 80's or was it 90's? I forget anyway he loves them and want one of his own so I took a photo for him and it turned out really well.

This one is called urban nature and is based on a retired couple who downsized from their Cotswold country home and now live in Birmingham hahaha, the write ups are so funny. It is a cute garden though, I love the colour of the shed.

How fantastic are these clear globes, they remind me of massive bubbles. I love foxgloves and poppies and this cotton lavender that shows them off so beautifully.

Another part of the Capability Brown's garden, I love the way they have used an old fireplace and ohh look at the trailing ivy.

These Iris' are so vibrant, they had 100's on display of various gorgeous coloured flowers. Iris always remind me of fairies, I can imagine a fairy flying out of the middle of them. (maybe from Spiderwick chronicles, have you seen it, I adore it)

Another favourite section of Mr Delightfuls was the carnivorous plants, fly traps (poor flies) and pitcher plants abound.

We did have a lovely day and if you eat everything (like meat) then the food bit would be good too, because we are almost vegan it was not as impressive and to see certain chef's like the hairy bikers you had to pay extra which I thought was a shame.

All in though it was a good full day out, I slept most of the next day through being shattered and if I went again would spend the extra tenner to go the full journey on the coach, saves messing around with extra journeys.