It feels like somebody shit on my soul

Everything can be going fine and dandy and then it feels like somebody shits on your soul.
Through some unkind words said in person or on social media, through a text message or through a look they give.

 I have realised, when go on a life journey that is different from the norm, old friends fall away from you and this sometimes hurts, people can be cruel, people who you thought had your best interests at heart are annoyed by your success or you hit a nerve when you talk or share something that is different to the way they live, they automatically think you are having a go at them, even family members can act this way or people who you have never met but think they 'know' you from your online presence.


 When I spend my day drinking tea, walking the dogs, watching romance films and snoozing, I am not lazy, have no job or taking the piss, I am living my life in a way which brings me joy, what you don't see is that I have either been up since 5am or I have gone to bed at 2am doing my work early or very late, because I can. You don't see that when you finish your job at 5pm and go home, that I am still doing admin, still organising, still creating until late. Don't blame me because you have chosen a job which you either don't like or it takes up so much of your time, so you don't have time for anything else. Don't compare my life to the one which you think I should live or the one made up in your head about how I live.



For example home education, when I talk about home ed and how great it is for kids and how the school system is shit, I am not saying you are a bad parent for sending your kids to school, I'm not saying your children are suffering going to school each day. I am talking about the experience we have had as a family, my opinions on the school system and its short fall.

When I talk about how I use certain toothpaste or shampoo that has no toxins in it or cancer causing substances, I am not saying you are a terrible person for using colgate or head and shoulders (or whatever brand you choose, they are the first ones that spring to mind), I am sharing the way we live, I am hoping to educate in a non judgmental way, in the hope that some people will discover more about it for themselves and make an informed decision.


When I share positive messages, memes or my art, don't think I am annoying (well you can if you want but actually think about why it is annoying you and you may get some solutions) because I am always happy, you don't see me on days where I feel like shit because I feel fat or my hormones are out of whack and I spend the day crying.


Also stop thinking I have it easy, I'm lucky or my head is in the clouds because I'm either a loon, fake or rich. Actually I will let you know it's because I have had a pretty awful time when I was a younger, my dad left my mum and she struggled for years to look after me and my sister because of poverty and depression, when I finally was reunited with my dad he wasn't really all I imagined him to be because he was screwed up from his mum (my grandma) killing herself and he found her in the bath. I was a young mum pregnant at 17, I suffered domestic violence for 8 years, was a single parent to 3 boys for another 8 years, had problems with alcohol and drugs (coping mechanism to block out my shitty existence), was so poor I burned furniture in the fire because I couldn't afford coal and the stories could go on and on but I don't want to bore you, anyway thats why I am positive and happy and yes, my head is in the clouds because I choose for it to be there, because I found a different way of living, rather than just existing.


I found that if I read books, watched inspiring videos, surrounded myself with 'awakened' people, ate better and made better choices, I felt better, this had a ripple effect and now each day I choose happiness over sorrow, I choose to feel rich because I have a loving family, my creative gifts, time to do and be who I want not because of how much money I have (or haven't) in my bank.

I have been talking to quite a few friends lately about this and they are all feeling the same way, it seems when you are on the right path and you have discovered the things you love to do, your light is shining so bright, people are either inspired by you and you get lovely messages, awesome and kind words which make your day or they despise you, they feel you are rubbing their noses in it or are untrue, they make up lies to themselves about how horrid you are to blame you for making them feel bad.


What a shame that it is this way, what a shame that everyone can't see the good through clear eyes, what a shame that everyone can't have therapy to sort out their pasts, what a shame everyone can't find true happiness and feel glad everyday just to be alive.



What is really messed up is, these same people who feel judged by you and your life are the ones who do the judging, telling you what you should do.

"get a real job" -  one working for the man I guess

"wear normal clothes" - I'm not even going to comment on this

"get a mortgage/go to uni/buy a car" - all the things to keep you trapped  and in the system

"your kids will suffer from keeping them at home" - of course being safe and happy is bad

"you will learn" - learn what exactly? how to be miserable?



I feel that artists, creatives, musicians, alternative lifestyles to the norm are all deemed as unworthy and to be pitied, unless you start making it big and then it flips and you are arrogant, lucky, self centered, fake.

So to sum it all up, you can't actually 'win' either way. Friends come, friends go, family is kind, family sucks, your only purpose in this life is to be happy, to give love, to receive love and hopefully make a difference in some way by helping others and this in turn lets you help yourself.

Love Dotty xx

A day in the life as an entrepreneur

 

 

 

A million thoughts go through your head, new ideas pop up all the time, you try, you fail, you try, you succeed, life isn't always smooth but thats OK because it's those times which make you grow, it's those times which show you your strength.

 You wonder wouldn't be easier to give it all up?, to forget your dream, to be a 9 to 5er and then, magic happens, you make a sale, you become inspired by anothers encouraging words, your spark is rekindled and you think YES!! 

I can do this, I will make it, I will achieve my dreams, its been a long and sometimes bumpy road but I am on this journey and enjoying the ride. 

You can't compare yourself to someone elses journey, we each live our own, you can't ever truly know what someones life is like because you don't live in their body, we are all just trying to make it the best we can. 

Support and encouragement, kindness and hope, thats what we all need, forgot the drama, see the good, shine your light, and if you have no light then sort that shit out! Work on yourself, you and only you have the power to control how you feel.

 Love Dotty xx

How to completely change your life

Phew! what a busy and wonderful week for my lovely art business, I am so grateful for how well my paintings are selling and for all the wonderful comments I have been getting. It makes my heart sing and fills my soul with joy.

When I started believing in myself and my abilities the universe has conspired to make it so

I wake up in a morning excited that I get to spend the day painting and drawing, making beautiful heart centred art for lovely people. I stay up until the early hours because I am enjoying it so much.

I was even more happy when I realised I had hit over half my money target for the month in just 12 days! amazing. I love the support from the shining academy on fb, it drives me forward. I thought to myself last night, I wonder if I am busy just because its Christmas coming, then a few minutes later I got a message saying "I love your work but can't buy anything just yet, I will be buying after Christmas" I thought to myself, thank you universe for that sign!

I really can't tell you just how much I love my life and that I am so happy! Please don't think I am gloating, its taken over 5 years of online presence and 14 years being self employed to actually find something I love and that finally has given me a living wage. It takes finding that 'thing' that makes you light up and the knowledge and support from others too.

Hitting rock bottom

I have read many books on success and they all say the achievers are the ones who don't give up when they hit rock bottom, I did what loads of others do at that point and got a 'real' job where I was guaranteed a wage every week because I didn't want to spend another winter without heating or wearing hat, gloves and scarves in the house to keep warm, or to be able to go to the cupboard, freezer etc and have something to make the boys ( I remember years ago we were so poor that I made rice pudding but out of spaghetti because that all that was left, I chopped up chairs to burn on the fire because we had no money for coal and I would walk miles to a greengrocers because they had bags of potatoes for 26p.

I realised though having a 'real' job working for the council (of all people) was not for me, yes the wages are good but the time you spend faffing around doing non jobs and the harsh treatment of different parts of society was not right for me to be part of. There was so much other wonderful community stuff I could be doing instead, I quit. I then panicked because I didn't really know what to do, after this wobble, I gave myself a good talking too and realised the universe always supports you if you trust. (sometimes a really hard thing when you think you have nothing) but when you count your blessings and realise if you have a home, a bed, food and water you are so rich already. Add family or a loved one and you are practically a billionaire!

Hitting rock bottom means there is only one way you can go and that's up!

I remember being about 14 and my mum who was a single parent had no money left for gas, she was in debt from buying a washing machine and her wages was always gone after the bills had been paid (no tax credits etc then) she had 20p in her purse and sent me to phone my dad to borrow some money ( they wasn't on good terms) this took a lot for her to admit we needed help especially from him. I went to the phone box and dialled and it rang and rang, whilst waiting I was looking about as you do and there on the floor in a pile of leaves was a £20 note!. Even then the universe and law of attraction was working, I just didn't know it.

The only way is up!

 I really feel 2015 was a learning year, a year I had to experience things I wouldn't of normally to appreciate my life, all the good things, all the bad things I can look back and be thankful for because everything is a lesson.

I know 2016 is going to be amazing, we are getting a new house which is much bigger than our current home, I will have a dedicated craft/art room -how lucky am I,( I currently use the dining room) we can have a music room too which I can't wait to jam in and the kitchen/dining room is big enough to have people over to share good food and friendship.

I am looking forward to filling out my 2016 Create Your Shining Year Biz & Life workbooks and brand spanking new weekly planner when I do a closing 2015 ceremony at the end of the month.

 I wish you all so much love and success, just take a step, one small step, your future self will thank you 

Love Dotty xx