Saturday, 10 April 2010

ups and downs...

I have been having a great couple of weeks cooking new dishes, each time masterchef is on the TV I get all experimental and borrow more than usual books from the library for inspiration, this yummy plum and polenta cake was delicious but the next day we had very sore tummy's, i think it was overload of plums that did it, I have themed our evening meals this week with a different country or type for the night and we have really enjoyed trying new things, even fussy eater Chris has tasted some new foods after much coxing and bribing!
I found this rather lovely swirly pattern in a watermelon and I have never seen anything like it before, have any of you?

We went here this week -Ingleton, the place we feel at home and the place we really want to live, a house came up and we went on 4 buses and travelled for 4 hours to go and view it, it was everything we dreamed of, we fell for it, all of us even the children, so when we got home we emailed the estate agent and put in an offer.... we waited until the next day for a reply and one came..... not the one we wanted, another application has gone through before ours, I'm gutted, we all are but a small glimmer of hope is still with me, I feel ( and I know this is terrible) that the other persons application/checks may fail and we will be offered it, maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm just mean thinking that way but i cant help it.

we went to the waterfalls whilst there and had our picnic here.....

We were so happy with the thought of a new begging, a new lovely greener life...

this would of been the view from the bedroom windows :(
I'm trying to be positive and think everything happens for a reason, something even better will come up and all that jazz but it has made me feel pretty sad.
It would of been my dad's birthday today, he died from cancer 4 years ago, it still pains me, I still feel guilt that I didn't go and see him on the night he was dying, I cried this morning whilst making breakfast - no one saw, they thought I was cross because I was ranting about not getting much help, I sometimes feel like it's always me rushing around trying to make things perfect for everyone else, I guess I'm just having one of those days, tomorrow will be better x

No comments: