Tuesday 16 June 2009

diets...pah!!!

Oh so adorable and just what I would love, these cute note books, this one has got fairy tale pictures on it, now if only I had something to write other than shopping lists....

Little red riding hood on a cute bento box, just perfect for a picnic lunch under a cherry blossom tree.....

Cup of tea guvner?, Yes please out of this red riding hood teapot, perfect with home made scones and jam made with berries from the garden!

all from From Japan With Love, they have loads more too cute for words stuff, take a look!
now onto something less dreamy...
I did a bad thing... I fell in love, this in itself isn't bad, in fact its one of the best things that has ever happened to me, like EVER! but what came with it was that lovely feeling of feeling wanted warts and all and over the past 3 years without really realising it with that contentment came me eating, I love food, I love to cook and bake and especially love cake but before as a single woman I watched each mouthful in case dread of all dreads I had to get naked in front of a man!!!. As time goes by and your naked in front of the same man there isn't that same worry that he will not like your body, well in theory anyway.

I have always said to myself I would never let myself go or put on too much weight because I thought this is why lots of couples split up, you know after so long men generally don't fancy your wobbly bits and bobbly pajamas and would much rather live in cyber land with all the air brushed beauties and then probably move on to the first sexy woman that pays them any attention. I had confidence and a strong sense of reality when I was single and I never thought I would fall for a man in the way I have so maybe I was so sure I wouldn't let myself go because I never thought that love would happen to me.

Then standing in front of the mirror, feeling pissed off because none of last years summer clothes fit me, the fact of it all hit me, oh god when did the extra rolls appear - I kinda knew they were coming but kept telling myself it wasn't a big deal as I could just eat less and would lose them but now I realise I'm in denial.

When I stopped smoking last October I substituted the fags with sweets, I have no cravings for fags and found it really easy to stop, in fact I can't believe I smoked for 9 years, even watched my Dad die of cancer from smoking and still carried on. I read Allen Carr's book and feel in awe of this guy, he was a fantastic man, and stopped easily. But then if I didn't have sweets it would be biscuits or anything really to put in my mouth, I think I'm orally fixated (see I did learn something in psychology!).

I have tried to start calorie counting - how boring and being more aware of whats going in compared to how little I'm doing that day, its all a bit of a bore but I thought in spite of all this I will confess in the hope of making someone smile......

Picture the scene after what you have just read, I'm in the kitchen making dinner and writing down the calories of the labels, dividing the 100 % on the packets up etc, running back from the kitchen to the computer to see how many calories are in home made chips - I know not a diet food - and baking the left over cookie dough from the fridge for the boys to have with their milk before bed - I was prepared this day, dancing around to whatever was on the radio, and generally trying not to think about chocolate when I couldn't hold on any longer, I took one of the hot cookies out of the oven and took a big bite, this is where diet karma came in, I had baked the kids salt dough by mistake eurgh!!! it tasted gross, Mouthful of salt put me off raiding anything else before dinner!

1 comment:

Pippa said...

Salt dough cookies, mmmmmm, nice!! *gag*

I made a Play-Doh sandwich once, while playing with the children and for a laugh, I bit into it. Man, I still have nightmares about the taste!!!! ]:0(