Showing posts with label low self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label low self esteem. Show all posts

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

Valentines day wisdom

Valentine's Day:

To all the single parents out there who feel like they are not doing a good enough job, ask yourself this has my child gone to bed tonight fed, warm and content? then you are doing a good job,if your circumstances right now are hindering you in doing this for your child, then seek help or try and come up with a solution to change your circumstances, if you really can't see a way to feed or keep your child warm, send me a private message, I will help you.

Don't feel guilty, nobody comes with a parenting manual saying "this is the way to do it". You are doing your best, that is amazing. You are truly loved even though you're on your own right now,it is bloody hard sometimes, you are still loved, you are doing the best you can with the knowledge you have right now and that is amazing.


To the people in same-sex relationships that get pissed off because of the way commercial Valentines is portrayed with a man and a woman, just be patient, a little bit longer, the world needs to catch up, you are pioneers of a new generation, instead of getting annoyed by the man, woman thing, how about taking charge and designing your own line of cards for next year, get them sold! There is obviously a gap in the market and they could be a best seller.Go to those restaurants that put the valentines posters up aimed at a man and his woman and explain to them your point of view, they probably have never even thought of it, people need educating we know this. Change takes time and it starts with us.

To all the people who have, had love and are widows,or who are divorced, who now find themselves in a different situation to the one before. Yes it's hard, today it seems all about happy couples everywhere rubbing it in that you're on your own now. But do you know what, you have experienced something that a lot of people never experience, you have experienced true love.
Be thankful for that and remember how that felt, it was wonderful and although I know you would love it to be like that right now, one day it could be like that again.



To all the people looking for love and have never found it, yet. Stop looking! that's it, just stop looking. You are wonderful, you are amazing and there is somebody out there for you. First of all, you need to really love yourself, I know that sounds cliched but there is work to be done. Do that work on yourself, your own personal development and put it out there to the universe the kind of person you would like to meet. The kind of perfect partner, you would love to attract and then let it go, let that shit go, stop letting it consume your whole being because when you do you create a block. When you let it go, that person will come into your life just be open to opportunities.

To the teens who feel fat or ugly, or like you are not normal, for the ones that don't fit in who feel like they don't belong. One day darling you're going to look back at this time and think "oh my God what the fuck was I thinking of" because you're the ones that are going to be the creatives, the ones who are brilliant ideas people, the ones that have overcome adversity and will go on to do amazing things.
You have compassion, you are full of Love for others and the planet, it's time some of that love went towards yourself too.  Today I want you to do something radical!! I want you to go and look in the mirror and instead of seeing the empty shell of somebody who feels downtrodden and alone, I want you to look at yourself and say I am going to be somebody, I am, I am beautiful, even if you don't believe it this moment, right now, you are! I'm telling you! you are beautiful.

Beauty doesn't have to be the outward appearance, the tall, long gorgeous flowing hair magazine type, you are the perfect already.
Inside beauty comes in all sorts of ways, beauty comes from a deep understanding of the world, it comes from a passion for music, it comes from the way you write, it comes from all sorts of things darling.You are full of those things, please believe me. All the things that bother you now, like the freckles, the hair colour, spots, too thin, too fat, too tall, too small etc, those things won't matter to you as you grow, it just feels painful now because of all the changes and the transfer from child to adult, it's a mixed up crazy time, just see it as a ride, a rollercoaster to be ridden and the end is coming.

To all the people in relationships that suck right now, if there is abuse involved, its time to leave, if you are going through a bad patch, talk things through. You both know though, when you are flogging a dead horse, why stay together making each other miserable? why not part (as hard as that may seem) and let each other find true love or happiness with someone else?

To all people who don't feel there are enough or they are not enough to be loved or they are not enough to do wonderful things. You are always enough!! you are alive, you are breathing, you have a body, you are a miracle, did you know that there is 1 in 144,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance of your dads sperm fertilising your mums egg, and then a 1 in 3 chance of you being born alive? Think about that or a second! You are a miracle.









Just how amazing is it, that you are meant to be, you are here to be happy, to live your fullest life, this all starts with you. This starts with inside of you feeling you are enough. Forget all those people have told you throughout your life are stupid, or who think you're not good enough, do you know what, fuck them! fuck them all, because everybody is enough! Everybody is wonderful and a miracle and I just wish I had a magic wand so everybody could see just how truly amazing they are

On Valentine's Day we are shown really happy faces about love, it has turned very commercial, buy this, do this, buy cards. Or if you don't get a card, you not good enough. If you don't send a card you are not good enough. I used to hate it, I used to really hate Valentines for the commercial aspect, but this year lets embrace the love side of it. If a lot of people can wake up to the love and yes it's only for one day, if we can wake up to love today, that's a wonderful thing.

But what we need is to wake up to love every day, it all starts with us, it all starts inside, from now on let's try every day to love ourselves a little bit more and to love those around us that means something to you, whether that's our family or friends or just a lovely person that you talk to the greengrocers every day because you got nobody else to talk to you. (I've been there) but let's start with that.

Let's radiate that, let's do little kind things for each other, even for people we don't know. Let's just radiate love to all, instead of Valentine's Day, it could be 'Radiate love day' and that's much nicer, just remember you are loved even when you feel like there's nobody there, even when you feel like there's nothing you can do, even when you feel at the depths of despair, like ending it all (I've been there too). Please don't, please just know there is somebody that loves you, even if you haven't met that person yet, it's aligned in the stars.

Just hold on darling, just hold on for one more day, that's all you can do and then the next day, hold on for another day and then the next day, hold on for another day and if you can't manage today, hold on for one hour, change something, get dressed today. Go to the library. Pick a book and sit there in the library, so you're actually in the company of others, you don't have to talk to anybody but you're actually outside doing something, pick up a book and start reading that book, get involved in a different story within the pages and let your imagination take over a while, go for a walk in nature, if there is no nature near by, you could jump on a bus and go to a park, just do something for yourself today to make yourself feel that love. If you can't do any of those things and you can't leave the house, run yourself a bath, if you feel disabled and you can't get in the bath, get a bowl of nice warm water, get some bubbles in it or some herbs and salt and just pop your feet in it, you deserve that, you deserve that today, you deserve that every day. There are always small things you can do to make yourself feel better and to make yourself feel good.

Just know I LOVE YOU! just know you are needed and wanted and loved. Happy Valentine's Day from me to you.

To all people who don't feel there are enough or they are not enough to be loved or they are not enough to do wonderful things. You are always enough!! you are alive, you are breathing, you have a body, you are a miracle, did you know that there is 1 in 144,000,000,000,000,000,000 chance of your dads sperm fertilizing your mums egg, and then a 1 in 3 chance of you being born alive? Think about that or a second! You are a miracle.

Monday, 25 July 2016

It feels like somebody shit on my soul


Everything can be going fine and dandy and then it feels like somebody shits on your soul.
Through some unkind words said in person or on social media, through a text message or through a look they give.




 I have realised, when go on a life journey that is different from the norm, old friends fall away from you and this sometimes hurts, people can be cruel, people who you thought had your best interests at heart are annoyed by your success or you hit a nerve when you talk or share something that is different to the way they live, they automatically think you are having a go at them, even family members can act this way or people who you have never met but think they 'know' you from your online presence.


 When I spend my day drinking tea, walking the dogs, watching romance films and snoozing, I am not lazy, have no job or taking the piss, I am living my life in a way which brings me joy, what you don't see is that I have either been up since 5am or I have gone to bed at 2am doing my work early or very late, because I can. You don't see that when you finish your job at 5pm and go home, that I am still doing admin, still organising, still creating until late. Don't blame me because you have chosen a job which you either don't like or it takes up so much of your time, so you don't have time for anything else. Don't compare my life to the one which you think I should live or the one made up in your head about how I live.



For example home education, when I talk about home ed and how great it is for kids and how the school system is shit, I am not saying you are a bad parent for sending your kids to school, I'm not saying your children are suffering going to school each day. I am talking about the experience we have had as a family, my opinions on the school system and its short fall.







When I talk about how I use certain toothpaste or shampoo that has no toxins in it or cancer causing substances, I am not saying you are a terrible person for using colgate or head and shoulders (or whatever brand you choose, they are the first ones that spring to mind), I am sharing the way we live, I am hoping to educate in a non judgmental way, in the hope that some people will discover more about it for themselves and make an informed decision.


When I share positive messages, memes or my art, don't think I am annoying (well you can if you want but actually think about why it is annoying you and you may get some solutions) because I am always happy, you don't see me on days where I feel like shit because I feel fat or my hormones are out of whack and I spend the day crying.


Also stop thinking I have it easy, I'm lucky or my head is in the clouds because I'm either a loon, fake or rich. Actually I will let you know it's because I have had a pretty awful time when I was a younger, my dad left my mum and she struggled for years to look after me and my sister because of poverty and depression, when I finally was reunited with my dad he wasn't really all I imagined him to be because he was screwed up from his mum (my grandma) killing herself and he found her in the bath. I was a young mum pregnant at 17, I suffered domestic violence for 8 years, was a single parent to 3 boys for another 8 years, had problems with alcohol and drugs (coping mechanism to block out my shitty existence), was so poor I burned furniture in the fire because I couldn't afford coal and the stories could go on and on but I don't want to bore you, anyway thats why I am positive and happy and yes, my head is in the clouds because I choose for it to be there, because I found a different way of living, rather than just existing.


I found that if I read books, watched inspiring videos, surrounded myself with 'awakened' people, ate better and made better choices, I felt better, this had a ripple effect and now each day I choose happiness over sorrow, I choose to feel rich because I have a loving family, my creative gifts, time to do and be who I want not because of how much money I have (or haven't) in my bank.





I have been talking to quite a few friends lately about this and they are all feeling the same way, it seems when you are on the right path and you have discovered the things you love to do, your light is shining so bright, people are either inspired by you and you get lovely messages, awesome and kind words which make your day or they despise you, they feel you are rubbing their noses in it or are untrue, they make up lies to themselves about how horrid you are to blame you for making them feel bad.


What a shame that it is this way, what a shame that everyone can't see the good through clear eyes, what a shame that everyone can't have therapy to sort out their pasts, what a shame everyone can't find true happiness and feel glad everyday just to be alive.



What is really messed up is, these same people who feel judged by you and your life are the ones who do the judging, telling you what you should do.

"get a real job" -  one working for the man I guess

"wear normal clothes" - I'm not even going to comment on this

"get a mortgage/go to uni/buy a car" - all the things to keep you trapped  and in the system

"your kids will suffer from keeping them at home" - of course being safe and happy is bad

"you will learn" - learn what exactly? how to be miserable?



I feel that artists, creatives, musicians, alternative lifestyles to the norm are all deemed as unworthy and to be pitied, unless you start making it big and then it flips and you are arrogant, lucky, self centered, fake.




So to sum it all up, you can't actually 'win' either way. Friends come, friends go, family is kind, family sucks, your only purpose in this life is to be happy, to give love, to receive love and hopefully make a difference in some way by helping others and this in turn lets you help yourself.

Love Dotty xx