Saturday blah blah fed up

It's Saturday, a day where normally I feel great at the prospect of a lovely day doing something good, my fellow is either at or watching football, my boys spend time on there xboxes and I normally watch catch up TV and sew or knit in peace. Today though, after a real crappy week with the teenager I felt fed up, I know I'm so lucky to have such a great partner and children, I love all the things I have, I love the way I can do as I please when I want, not being restricted to school times/job times etc, I am thankful, don't get me wrong, I know this but sometimes I feel fed up. I have been crying a lot lately, at songs, at memories, at anything really. I have felt pretty up and down, I am realising something that I didn't think would affect me at all, my boys are getting older and they don't need me as much anymore, I am not their whole world, the things I say are not magical and wonderful, I know all mum's must go through this but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm glad that they are beginning a new chapter in their lives and am looking forward to them achieving their hopes and dreams, but it's hard, it really is. I have borrowed books from the library on dealing/coping with teenagers and they have loads of info about what to do if your teen takes drugs/sleeps around/wears inappropriate clothing etc, none of which apply to us and our teens, none describe the transition between childhood and teen years, the struggle each day to understand each others view points, the battle in simple tasks, where once this child of yours was helpful and keen even to do things has turned into someone very different. Your boundaries change, their boundaries change, ideas that were once fun and looked forward too have become "boring" and "rubbish", I feel guilty each day, as parents guilt is a thing which crops up again and again, these things are not mentioned in any books or on forums etc, I wonder why, is it because the truth is hard to swallow?, is it because it is just me who feels this way and is secretly a nut case? I don't know, I don't have any answers - that maybe another reason it is not mentioned because there is no answer it's all about biding our time until the teenage years have passed. I find it difficult too being a home school mum and worrying about there future and what will happen with them although I'm guessing every parent whether they home school or not wonders this. So sat at the computer this morning, well it was lunch time actually after the time had vanished too quickly again, I thought about what would cheer me up and drag me out of this darkness that I wish would go away, the answer of course was baking (and eating them afterwards of course) so I made some bread which has collapsed in the middle again-why?, some mixed spice biscuits from the grannies cookery book and some carrot cakes from my own recipe, all dairy and gluten free, whist listening to Adele and singing loudly. I feel slightly happier now and am going to spend the rest of the day sewing I think.

I have 2 fairs coming up so need to get cracking at making some more lavender rabbits and I'm working on pinny's with appliqued teapots and cupcakes on, also the Christmas gift making is looming again, can you believe it is nearly that time again?!

I heard this song on the radio and fell in love, I really want this album now, have a lovely weekend whatever your up too x

Frugal 2011, making bread....

Reassessing things after Christmas as we all do and thinking, new year, new start etc as we all do too, I considered my spending, it is at a minimum anyway because I think we all have too much "stuff," but I love collecting old furniture, fabric, vintage/retro home wares, books, vinyl records and clothes, I'm quite terrible actually, but 90% of what I buy is second hand or given to me. The only things I buy new are shoes, knickers and bra's and the boys pants from Boden because they are great quality and last ages, well thinking of it I buy most of their clothes new because it is hard to get second hand older boys clothes that are decent. But this isn't that much over a year.

So I set myself a little challenge, to minimise our spending even further so I can save up for things we actually need/will benefit our lives/make lasting memories.

Over the next few weeks I will be posting about the kinds of things I'm doing to save money, be closer to a natural way of living and hopefully inspiring others to do the same.

I am very particular about what we eat and love to cook so I won't compromise on spending money on food at all, it has to be organic, free range, outdoor bred etc, I have made some menu's up though to try and get more out of my money, we bake our own bread which saves us a fortune and the lovely smell that lingers in the air is unbeatable, this is why supermarkets have a "bakery" (most just reheat frozen loaves!), so the smell makes customers hungry. If you haven't got a bread maker already I really do recommend you save up and get a decent one, taking to friends and my own experience it is worth spending that bit extra on one, ours is this one, which bakes bread, mixes dough, you can even do cake mix in it, although I haven't tried that as I like the process of mixing cakes myself.

It is simple to use, you just weigh out the ingredients from the cookbook that comes with it and pop them into the bread pan that goes inside the bread maker, choose your bread setting and voila in and 2 hours you have a lovely loaf, all hot and delicious! We have made fruit loaf, which is lovely, curry bread made with mango chutney and curry paste, believe me it IS good.

You can of course bake your own loaves in the oven, I have tried and failed many times, they always come out like bricks!!

working it out, a loaf of bread from our local shop costs £1.30 each, (not organic) we as a family of 5 eat on average about 6 loaves a week, sometimes more (if it's fruit loaf!!) so that's £7.80 a week compared to doves organic white flour at £1.87, this would make 3 large loaves, doves organic yeast, 1.29p, one packet lasts us about 3-4 weeks, then in our bread maker you add a tsp salt, 1oz marg, 2 tsp sugar and water, so pennies really, I will allocate 90p for these things, so all together for a weeks worth of organic bread =£4.50, over the course of a year you would save £171.60 on bread alone!

Happy New Year and happy bread making, I will be pleased to answer any bread making questions no matter how silly they seem, before I got a bread maker a lovely friend answered all mine even though I felt daft asking her!